Rants – Door Knocking

The FedEx guy came today with a repaired canon camera. The FedEx guy left a tag on the door that says he knocked and informed us that he or she will return. The thing is, my wife and I were home at the time.  I think the FedEx guy just tapped lightly and ran away like a school age prankster. "Hee hee" he cackled as he sprinted back to his FedEx mobile with my camera in tow.  Then FedEx guy gets together with the other FedExies where they talk about all the people they "burned" with their limp wristed door slapping.

My wife called FedEx to complain. She was calling partly on my behalf, but really she doesn't like to take any sh*t (as she might put it) from these guys. Customer service assured her that the FedEx guy knocked. They say that the FedEx may have knocked on the glass of the storm door, and not the door to the house.  For the sake of all that is good, the storm door is just for storms, not for knocking. Knocking on glass doesn't make any sense either. Couldn't the glass brake and deliver a fatal cut to the FedEx guy, or worse, my package? 

This isn't the first time that my wife and I have dealt with poor knocking. The meter reader used to constantly stop by and leave a note while we were home. You would think the cars in the drive way would be a clue. After several calls, my wife, a consumer advocate hero, convinced the meter reader to knock very loudly.

We know it isn't the door. Our friends and family have no problem alerting us via knocking at any time. You'd better believe the pizza guy lays down some heavy knuckle slamming. Which begs the question, is it so hard to knock on a door?  Some folks might not have hands, but I bet they make do with kicks or head butts or something. Someone with brittle bone disorder may have a tougher time, and I could understand that. 

Maybe the art of proper knock began to fall out of favor after the invention of the doorbell. Perhaps at the beginning of the 21st century our hands may be too delicate to violently strike against wood. Brittle bone disorder FedExies beware, I have no door bell and my wife has your customer service on speed dial.

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