Rants – My Dream Computer

Lately I have been obsessed about personal computers. Having given up on my old Dell Beast, I started using my wife's old Mac Beast. Meanwhile, my brother had promised to send me his old (but new to me) laptop, Dell Beast Jr. That was 2 months ago. In the interim I cannot help but entertain the idea of buying a new computer.

There are so many options to consider, that I had to really put some thought into what a computer should be for me. I have three basic criteria: 1) aesthetics; 2) ability to play all games; 3) costs $500 or less. This is 2007, way beyond the technological level of the Hal 9000's of 2001's space odyssey's. So I expected to find my dream computer with ease. I was wrong. So I present the following: behold, an eye pleasing computer with kick-A graphics and costing a mere $500!

Sweet isn't it. Let me explain the rationale that underlies my insane criteria. First, I believe that regular computer use was maxed out in 2001, and I'm not referencing Hal. When running Microsoft Word, looking up web pages, or playing Doom, the power of my 2001 computer was barely noticeable over my 1997 computer. The focus of computer advances should therefore be design, not power.

I secondly believe that computers, especially home computers, are destined to play games. The urge to kill zombies is just hardwired into us as is, coincidentally, the zombies urge to eat our brains. Sans zombies, we need realistic 3d games to fulfill our zombie killing desires. But computer zombies have progressed steadily since the days of Doom. Now we have higher resolution zombies of Doom III and Half-Life 2. These zombies need kick-A graphics. Every home computer should be able to play the latest zombie shooter, and all future zombie games. It's not really about silly fun, its about protecting ourselves from zombies.

Thirdly, I am cheap. And why shouldn't I be? We do live in a free market economy. So I propose a $500 eye catching computer that can handle all my programs from 2001 and play the latest zombie slaying simulator. I'd totally buy it.

There are some notable boxes that come close to my dream machine. A refurbished Apple Mac Mini can go for as low as $479, but its graphics are pathetic at best. The Microsoft Xbox 360 has kick-A 3d graphics and costs less than $500, but it is currently a game machine only. The Nintendo Wii has passable 3D graphics, a web browser, a cool remote, and costs a mere $250. Hmmm, I wonder if it will run Google Docs? Nevertheless, until Apple, Microsoft, and Nintendo produce the bastard child of the MacBoxWii60, I'll just have to dream.

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