Unpaid Advertising – The Weed Popper(R)

I hate weeds. Before I owned a house with a lawn, I was indifferent to weeds. Now I believe that weeds were put on Earth by the devil because he hates us. The problem is how to kill them.

Having little guy around and a general tendency to adopt organic products, I have rejected commercial herbicides. Instead, I opted for an odd looking garden tool, The Weed Popper(R). It has a foot activated lever action and a weed grabbing fork. Used with gusto, it flings weeds, and dirt, into the air. For better pictures, and a video of the Weed Popper(R) in action, check out this website.

The trick is to to get the fork around the root under the leafy base of the weed. The lever action then pulls the weed, roots and all, out of the ground. No root means no regrowth. My wife took this picture of a typical Dandelion root, extracted from the soil and left to die. Take that you yellow flowered bastard!

I bought the last Weed Popper(R) at my local True Value Hardware store, but you may find it at other stores or you can just buy it through Amazon.com. It really is not expensive compared to a lifetime of herbicides.

Although I could spend all day destroying weeds, the Weed Popper(R) has its faults. A good extraction requires practice. The device is also quite flimsy. The handle broke on my dad, but the great man he is, my dad was able to fix it. The spring loaded dirt remover really doesn't work. Dirt removal is still a dirty job. The metal parts are weak; its no titanium alloy. Mine has already become misshapen. Still, it beats worrying about the health risks of spraying liquid plant killer.

Huzaa to the Weed Popper(R)!

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2 thoughts on “Unpaid Advertising – The Weed Popper(R)

  1. artdavis May 4, 2007 at 7:54 am Reply

    Oh no you didn't just call the Dandelion a "yellow flowered bastard"?! Is that any way to treat the honored blossom of your Alma Matter? Why, I have a lawn consisting entirely of the glorious flower so my neighbors take one look at my house and think "there's a UR graduate, we're so lucky to live near him".I cringe to think what your opinion would be of the noble Yellowjacket.–Art

  2. bioadam May 6, 2007 at 11:26 am Reply

    I have plenty of school spirit growing in my yard, and yellowjackets flying over head. To show our respect for its nobility, we all go inside everytime the mascot looms and shudder silently until it goes away. Then when it goes away, we get back to killing dandelions. And I do feel lucky that the Rochester chose not to honor crab grass and the stink beetle.

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