Untimely Reviews of 2 star movies – Jarhead

Continuing the series of 2 star movies, I am happy to report another film wrongly given the moniker of merely mediocre. Why did critics pan this war movie? Perhaps they just don't like peace films.

"Jarhead" is an anomalous war movie. It is about soldiers who want to shoot people but never do and a war that was necessary but doesn't seem to be about anything. The setting for "Jarhead" is the First Gulf War, formerly known as the "Gulf War" or "The Gulf War to End all Gulf Wars."

The last (and likely only other) movie set in the First Gulf War was "Three Kings". This movie was less about the Gulf War than it was about humanity. "Jarhead" is pretty much just about the First Gulf War and the experiences of one marine who "fought" in it.

The movie portrays the frustration of non-combat beautifully. For those needing a history lesson, only slightly more U.S. troops died outside of battle than in battle. We the audience get a glimpse of soldiers on an extended heightened state of alert and the woes that it brings. The morale of this movie is this: give war a chance because peace was figuratively killing these marines. Thankfully for the warmongers, we live in good times.

Not being a dope, I quickly questioned whether parts of the movie might were true. Boot camp seemed too harsh and the marines seemed too mentally disturbed during Operation Desert Shield, which is basically shown as operation drink, pee, and masturbate. I don't know if any of it was true, but I don't care. The controversial scenes were just likely enough to appease even my lawyerly, i.e. skeptical, mind and more importantly, they were fun to watch.

Kudos should be especially extended to the actors. Jake Gyllenhaal expands his range and shows us he can be an extroverted (though still sensitive) heterosexual. Jamie Foxx shows us that he can be in more than one decent movie. The other actors are also great at not being big stars. Give these guys a break and pin another star on "Jarhead".

Yo Joe!

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