Unpaid Advertising – My wife’s iPhone is the second coming

After months and months and months of prodding by me, my wife bought an iPhone. Technically, my wife and I bought an iPhone because we are married and our money is in a joint account. But technically it is her iPhone because it has all of her e-mail settings and her applications for posting on LiveJournal. Besides, I owe her. Long ago she was promised a new iPod. She bought one, engraved and all, only to be dissapointed when a week later Apple released the video iPod. Apple kindly lets users return their items when one of their secret upgrades hits like a laser guided smart bomb in the night within 2 weeks of purchase. My wife did return her now obsolete music and pictures only iPod, but never bothered to buy the video iPod in its place. Years later, she buys the iPhone.

The iPhone has been touted as the Jesus phone because it appears to do everything you want with only one device. Ever since the dawn of cell phones, the internet, mp3 players, digital cameras, and touchscreens, mankind has dreamed of creating a Frankenstein device that includes all of these functions and fits in a shirt pocket. So basically our society has been waiting for the iPhone for about five years. Five long years of backwardly using 5 devices or more to live our digital lives.

The fairest way to praise critique my wife's iPhone is to compare it to the device that preceded it, in our house. That device is a Blackberry Curve that I use for work. Both devices are roughly the same size, as shown in these blurry photos taken by my unsteady hand with the other device.

Clearly blurrily, both devices are close enough in size. The Blackberry is wide while the iPhone is tall. Both are pretty thin too when compared to the awful bricks that are their smartphone ancestors. Both have wireless internet, cameras, video, music, push e-mail and syncing, and are also phones. They are both on AT&T's crappy network (although my wife's phone gets lighting fast 3G data). I would say the really big difference is the iPhones GIGANTIC TOUCHSCREEN.

This is the real deal: the iPhone's touchscreen is Godlike in its ease of use. The Blackberry seems like an old arcade toy with its scroll ball and buttons. The button with all the dots on it really doesn't make any sense. What are all those dots anyway? The iPhone says "Slide to Unlock". Seeing that phrase alone is like moving out of an asylum featured in "One Flew over the Cuckoos Nest". Smartphones had been so bad for so long that the original iPhone was so far advanced it seemed like something sent back through time by Captain Picard to save mankind from Romulan invasion. I feel like I live in the future every time I pick up my wife's iphone and flip though the screens. Webpages scroll smoother than on my thumdrive driven laptop. And the iPhone is a kickin' game machine to boot.

The Blackberry Curve itself is a response to the iPhone. RIM, the maker of the Blackberry, added a pretty cool multimedia player and decent camera to its boring smartphone. But these are just add-ons. The Blackberry has like 64 MB of storage, a.k.a. a laughable amount of storage. You can add a micro SD card, which I did, but it fits under the battery in some kind of mouse trap like holster.  Everything about the Blackberry seems like an afterthought, i.e. a thought that came up after the iPhone. To be really fair, RIM has released updated models like the BlackBerry Bold and the Blackberry Storm. But the Bold has the same old scroll wheel and the Storm is like the iPhone with its big screen but the same bland Blackberry software.

The big draw of a Blackberry over an iPhone is the actual keyboard. The Blackberry is easer to get carpal tunnel syndrome on than the iPhone. Here I thought my bony fingers would come in handy, but even I had trouble hitting the keys. Seriously though, its a phone. messages work best. It's also a phone so I guess you could just call people and talk to them instead.

Huzaa to Apple, maker of the Jesus phone!

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